Unmasking the Shadow: Jungian Insights with Angelina Caporale

Transcript

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As a Jungian Life Coach, I am just there beside them, helping to shine a light and explore with them.

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And maybe where there's blocks help them see, well, let's look through this little crack here, or let's look around this bend because when we get overwhelmed by Shania Shame, or like when it comes to doubt, I was called the Duke of Downington.

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So the Duke of Downington, we get caught up in that waltz of it.

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And so, having an outside observer, helping to ask questions that breaks us around, helping to do different visualizations and check in where in our body, we experience things helps us to basically bypass some of the barriers that we've set up for ourselves.

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This is Flavors of Emotions, expanding your emotional palate for a tastier life.

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My name is Kim Korte.

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Together, we explore how to make sense of our feelings through the lens of a chef understanding flavors in a recipe.

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I am here to help you refine your emotional palate to differentiate the emotions that shape your world.

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Hello, and welcome my dear friend and my very first guest ever on this podcast, Angelina Caporale.

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Angelina is a Jungian, a certified Jungian Life Coach.

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And in fact, she is on her way to getting a master's in it.

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She is amazing.

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And I think at the end of this, you will love her as much as me, if possible, but I think you might, and Angie, welcome I just got to get started with what is a Jungian Life Coach?

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Because I am sure there's a lot of people out there are like, uh, what is that?

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Thank you for asking and thank you for having me.

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So a Jungian Life Coach is based on Carl Jung's.

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Who is an amazing psychologist that was around the same time as Freud that was doing analytical psychology and his belief that the individuation process is the most important process for a human that we come here on this planet.

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And part of that process is diving into the collective unconscious.

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So the collective wisdom.

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That we all have access to and being able to pull out different parts that communicate with us to make aspects of ourself that we have shoved or deemed that are not a part of us into our shadow, a place of our unconscious.

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And while when things remain there, we act wonky.

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Sometimes things come up and we have knee jerk reactions and we respond in a certain way.

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That's not by choice.

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So by pulling things out of the shadow, working with the collective unconscious, working with archetypes, we can then.

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Integrate these aspects of ourself that become a part of our toolkits so that we, when things happen in our world, that we can respond from a place of choice and creation instead out of just feral instinct and out of fear.

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There's two aspects of that, that like I am totally into, which is, having your reactions be a choice and to not react to fear.

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So yes, all into that, just to help further clarify, because I know that the, Collective consciousness has been mentioned a lot and, how that works.

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Yes.

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So the collective consciousness is considered something that is available to everyone.

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And it's when we get to experience it more, it's considered that like, dreams and symbols come up to us and it's the way that the collective unconscious communicates with us.

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So dream analysis was really, really important in Jungian psychology and, where there's multitudes of levels of what the different symbols in the dreams could mean.

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So it could be something that means something directly to us and it could also have a bigger meaning in it that refers to what our whole world, everything that has been experienced in the evolution of man kind that we have that knowledge to draw upon, but it is like, think of it as like the etheric web of information.

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And your dreams are like a Google YouTube.

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So up pops this information that you need.

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Yeah, like my crazy dream the other night when I dreamt I was dying of cancer, and only had two or three weeks to live.

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These dreams feel so real, like, and you wake up and you're like, man, am I gonna die?

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But, you know, just so everyone knows, I called Angie pretty much first and was like, oh my god, I dreamt I had cancer, I was dying, and all these other things, and she's like, oh, it could be just change.

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So, yeah, you know, dreams are just a form of communication, and so it's not always true.

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And a big part of, like, our individuation process, which the individuation process is becoming more of our true self.

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So when we are young, we develop an ego, which is super important because that's how we survive and interact with the world.

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So we develop, like, these different personas that we put on that we learn are okay.

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for that time frame.

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And we need them.

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It's important.

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It's important to have a healthy ego and a healthy persona to navigate that.

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But then when we get to adulthood and we have more choice, then it's important to, uh, utilize those persona and ego choices to free us from the obligatory of what we assume is expected of us into our choice of action.

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So death In our dreams, death, and like, if you get a tarot card pulled, that is the death card, like in, they use it in horror movies all the time, and they're like, oh no, you're gonna die, watch out! Well, in, in this, in this realm, those are often times a sign that like, An old persona, an old habit of our ego can die, like the chrysalis, like basically a caterpillar dissolving into the goo to become the butterfly, to become more of your true self.

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So it is a death in a way.

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It is a dying of old obligations, of an old persona, an old aspect, but it's a transformation, not a permanent death.

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True.

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I agree.

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It's, it's symbolism.

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This is something I've been thinking about a lot, especially because we approach it differently, but it's really similar.

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It's just style, which is, you got to get over fear and, you've got to, to create what you want your future to be.

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And you, you said something about as adults, we have more choice.

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As I was an adult, because of how I was raised, I didn't feel like I had a lot of choices.

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And I still think that there's a lot of people who are droning on in life, doing what they think that they're supposed to do.

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And Behaving how they think they're supposed to be living the lifestyle, I'm supposed to be, married with five kids because that's what, everyone else did and not kind of paving their own way.

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And it feels like it, it's a part of our mental health issues and the fact that we can't be who we truly are, um, you know, in the in the gay community.

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That was a big part of who they are, but it's not always just these big things like our sexuality.

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It could be how we want to live in a career, you know, what we want to do in life.

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How do you help people get comfortable with making those kinds of changes or even going in to discover like, What, what it means to make those changes and to not be afraid and to find who you are.

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Yeah.

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Those are all great questions and lots of juiciness in that.

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So like the supposed tos and the shoulds can kill us.

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We can choke on all the supposed tos and the shoulds that we could have.

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I think one of the awesome things about Jungian Life Coaching is that there's no needing to get over fear or to push it away or to be like, Oh, I just like, I got over that.

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It's really befriending our fear or befriending our shame, or befriending our doubt because what we resist persists.

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So like the more that we resist it, the more it gets shoved into our shadow, the more it acts out.

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So by pushing away our fear, by pushing away our shame, the more we really kind of like feed the beast, you know, uh, of what it is.

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But if we befriend it, because Jungian Life Coaching and Jungian psych looks at it like, the fear, the shame, the doubt, it's all trying to protect us, and maybe it's a misguided protection, but the fact of the matter is, is it's really trying to be our friend to help us survive, and so by sitting with it, by actually sitting with the fear, or, um, even, like, I like to joke about, like, uh, dancing with my shame is I call her Shania Shame and we like talked about so like Shania.

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She no longer gets to drive the car of my life, but I have heard her out.

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And she may be in the backseat or hanging out or whatnot.

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Because sometimes shame is important.

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We need to realize when, we've done something wrong.

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That isn't in alignment with ourselves or how we want to be as a person.

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And also, shame doesn't get to drive the car just like fear doesn't get to drive the car when we make choices.

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So that's why, courage is moving forward despite fear.

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So it's not about killing our fear or I don't have fear anymore.

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It's about befriending it.

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Integrating it, sitting with it, see what it has to say, because really within its voice, it's like, what are you what are you trying to say here?

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And then once it's like sharing that with you where am I feeling it in my body?

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What does that experience look like?

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And what does it need from me?

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In Jungian Life Coaching, it really doesn't matter where in your past it is, but sometimes it comes up.

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You're like, oh, that was my five year old self.

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And I can sit with her and be like, I got you, girl.

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My little five year old me, I can be the adult that she needed at that time, or I can be the one that hugs her and comforts her, and I don't need to be, driven by my five year old aspect of fear anymore.

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So it's really a wonderful, beautiful process because it is totally, client led Each person in their own body have all the tools they need.

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As a Jungian Life Coach, I am just there beside them, helping to shine a light and explore with them.

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And maybe where there's blocks help them see, well, let's look through this little crack here, or let's look around this bend because when we get overwhelmed by Shania Shame, or like when it comes to doubt, I was called the Duke of Downington.

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So the Duke of Downington, we get caught up in that waltz of it.

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And so, having an outside observer, helping to ask questions that breaks us around, helping to do different visualizations and check in where in our body, we experience things helps us to basically bypass some of the barriers that we've set up for ourselves.

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You brought up a couple of things.

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One is, naming.

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You know, that in our house.

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Finnegan is blamed for a lot of stuff.

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So for those of you who don't know, Angie found our dog, Finnegan, on the streets eating bark.

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And I had just lost my cat, Max, who was.

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just my everything.

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She couldn't keep Finnegan and we fell in love and he's been in our life ever since.

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But our dear little Finnegan will get the blame for things.

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And it's great when you, make like little personas for things that, doesn't make the shame about you.

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It's, it's someone else.

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It's something else.

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It's, that Shania Shame.

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It's not you.

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It's Shania.

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I think that is just such a powerful tool because it helps us to work with our ego and it helps us to work with it and not make it who we are, but just something else.

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Super.

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I love that.

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Oh, I'm sorry.

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No, go ahead.

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And then I have a second point when you're done.

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Oh, it's just, I love that you use Finnegan with that because.

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Finnegan, you love him so much and he is your child and a part of your world.

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And so like, I think that that's a really good example.

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Like when it is our fear or our shame, like they're a part of our internal family.

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Like they're a part of our makeup and like, they are still an important part, even if they are acting up, so to speak.

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But they, they do bring richness to our life.

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So I love that it's Finnegan because if he's doing it, you love him unconditionally.

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You're not getting rid of Finnegan, but you're able to address that issue because you love him and can then utilize him as a tool to address these other things that are coming up to, to be little resolved issues.

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The other point I wanted to make was that, you know, even in a crowd we, we look and we think we see someone and we're like, Hey, there's So and so there's Joe and then we look again and we're like, Oh, wait, that's not Joe.

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It's just someone who looks a lot like Joe.

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And I think that we do that too with, you know, Frank Fear, whatever you name fear or Shania Shame.

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We can think we're recognizing it, but it's not.

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It's just something that kind of looks like it, but it's not really fear.

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It's that ability to examine it and, and say, Oh, wait, you know what?

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This isn't really anything to be afraid of.

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Because it's just not anything that's as fearful as I thought it was going to be.

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So I, think that's also helpful.

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A great thing about that naming because just like we can misperceive people that we think that we see, we can misperceive, um, our emotions and, and potentially be feeling something that is just a reaction, but might not necessarily be true.

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Well, that's perfect, too, because, in Jungian Life Coaching, it's the ego that sees things as that side of ourselves.

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So if someone is irritating us or things are happening.

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We're like, Oh, why is this happening to me?

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That's the ego aspect.

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Whereas the higher self like understands about like our power of creation.

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And so it is.

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about being like, okay, so what in this situation in this person is triggering this in me?

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So like that, like seeing that as an extension of ourself.

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So if we're like creating our own world and we're living from a place of creation, this person This fear, this, this situation is acting up to help give me a chance to heal, unearth something in my shadow, work on it, and integrate it.

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So that problem feeling, problem person, problem situation is a gift.

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And as sometimes we don't want that gift, we're tired, we're exhausted, and we're like, Ugh, give me a little less.

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But that is the gift of that situation is it allows us the opportunity to integrate more of what has been shoved away so that we have more tools, that we have more aspects that we can work with and work from.

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Because if someone's acting out And we're having a reaction to it.

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If a five year old is having a complete meltdown on the floor, we don't take that personally.

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We're like, that's rough to not have your lollipop buddy.

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Sorry about that.

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But it doesn't take over our emotions.

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We're not like, why was that child so upset?

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So when someone else triggers that in us.

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It's giving us this wonderful reflection and opportunity to explore more.

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It's true.

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I mean, we like to think that our emotions are because of other people.

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And that's one of the hardest things, I think, to really get to own.

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And to acknowledge because you know what happens when you start to own your feelings responsibility.

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And yeah, yuck.

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I'm always thinking about like emotions and podcast topics.

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And one of the things I was thinking about before we got started was the problem with wanting, and wanting.

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What I mean by that is like, we want to have better mental health.

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We want to have all these things, but we have a conflict with the other wants where I don't want to do what it takes to make that change.

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And so when you have the conflict of the wants, it's just a matter of which one is going to win out.

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Right?

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So in Jungian Life Coaching, we, we call that like other aspect, the resistance quality of that.

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And so like resistance is extra juicy in our books because that's where the, the gold is.

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It's like, Oh, let's dig into this resistance.

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If there, it's like, Ooh, there is something at the bottom of this, that is your gold.

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That is like the key to your freedom in this situation.

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It's like.

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What is at the bottom of it?

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Is it the fear of death?

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The fear of being alone?

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Is it shame?

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Is it sadness?

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Who is our friend at the bottom that is like, I'll need attention.

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So we dive into that, lean into that want that resistance.

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Anytime that there's, a trigger, there's these dueling wants or a live emotion that comes up, that's the good stuff to delve into.

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Very sweet.

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It's, it's, it's the gold for you to get into, but people.

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are resistant to change.

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There's a serious comfort with knowing that feeling that you've had for years and years and years.

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And what would it feel like to, to not feel it?

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And how do you, how do you help people to get past just the resistance of, investigating.

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Yeah.

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So I, I would argue actually that it's the gold for them because whether or not they break free of that, that does, I mean, like, I want them to be free and to be their, their like most living alive self, but like that's, I get it.

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That's the journey for them.

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Yeah.

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They don't,

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They don't see the gold quite yet.

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Right.

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Because The mining for the gold can be difficult.

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You have to hike over terrain.

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There's like getting the equipment So in that resistance, what I always like to warn people, I'm like, so are you sure you want to do this work?

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Is this something that you actually want to do?

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Because it's not, I wouldn't say what it's like easy.

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It's not always about feeling good.

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Because the aspect of it is that when there is something uncomfortable, we get to sit in it.

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Like, oh, I'll get down there in the mud with you.

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We're going to sit in it and there's going to be some twigs poking us.

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Maybe there's something moving in the mud.

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We'll like, check that out together.

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But we get to get comfortable with sitting in the uncomfortable.

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Because in that discomfort and the more you wait it out, the more information we get, the more things open.

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So just like when someone's sculpting from marble or carving a stone or pressing a diamond, like those different works of art, they don't just come about because they were just lulling about in the sun.

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It's because they were carving away, digging in, into the, the depths of it to unleash itself.

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So we will sit in that discomfort together.

00:22:36.702 --> 00:22:48.163
And it is totally normal to want to, to escape from that because, I mean, like evolutionary wise, we survive because we're like, if this hurts, I don't keep touching it.

00:22:48.163 --> 00:22:48.553
Right.

00:22:48.712 --> 00:22:53.682
We survived from those instincts and now we're going beyond survival.

00:22:53.682 --> 00:22:55.702
We're wanting to get into thriving.

00:22:56.153 --> 00:23:11.653
And these different higher levels of being our true self, not just out of making sure that we're fed and we have a house over our heads, but out of following our soul's purpose, our life's purpose.

00:23:12.012 --> 00:23:17.502
And that involves undoing some of the things that just kept us alive.

00:23:18.002 --> 00:23:42.423
Because when you're bleeding, when you're in an emergency room, it doesn't matter, we don't care about that, scar or whatever, we just want to stop the bleeding, but now we're no longer bleeding, coaching is for when you, you're at a pretty good point, but you want to move forward, you're like, I'm, I'm not doing my full potential, I'm not Getting to the places where I want to go, I keep self sabotaging.

00:23:42.423 --> 00:23:53.413
I mean, you know, this about me is there's been many times over the years where I started on a path and then I, like, hid back in my little hidey hole because I was not ready.

00:23:53.673 --> 00:23:55.153
Can't, can't want to.

00:23:55.423 --> 00:23:57.232
No, that's scary.

00:23:57.272 --> 00:23:59.583
The resistance is real, real.

00:23:59.583 --> 00:24:02.603
And nobody, nobody is immune from that.

00:24:02.603 --> 00:24:06.643
And also we don't beat ourselves up about that resistance.

00:24:06.702 --> 00:24:09.772
There's always going to be another call to adventure.

00:24:10.042 --> 00:24:21.333
There's always going to be that we don't want to like, when we're ready to not just be waiting for the next call to adventure when we're like, okay, no, it is more.

00:24:21.678 --> 00:24:29.678
Uncomfortable to stay in my life where it is now, even if it's pretty good, like you're like, yeah, I have a great place.

00:24:29.897 --> 00:24:31.758
I have wonderful friends.

00:24:32.137 --> 00:24:33.178
I have a great partner.

00:24:33.178 --> 00:24:36.837
My job's decent, cool, but something's missing.

00:24:37.627 --> 00:24:49.167
So there's a certain point where we decide it's worth that discomfort because the discomfort of growth is less uncomfortable than the discomfort of staying where we are.

00:24:50.347 --> 00:24:59.813
I like to to caveat this kind of stuff because I don't think it's always as uncomfortable as we think it's going to be like we do have this predictive nature.

00:24:59.813 --> 00:25:08.153
And when you talk about playing in the mud or sitting in the mud with someone, it's not always like, you know, thick mud up to your neck.

00:25:08.397 --> 00:25:09.528
Getting real dirty.

00:25:09.907 --> 00:25:13.768
I think the value of what you do is, is great.

00:25:14.038 --> 00:25:16.788
And I know that you've helped a lot of people.

00:25:16.788 --> 00:25:23.627
This Jungian Life Coach is one tool in a myriad of tools that you have in your toolbox.

00:25:23.667 --> 00:25:25.617
It's not always overwhelming.

00:25:25.617 --> 00:25:28.278
I'm only saying this because if anyone's like, Oh, I don't want to get in the mud.

00:25:28.278 --> 00:25:31.248
I think that's really important is that you're making it playful.

00:25:31.538 --> 00:25:36.448
You're it's serious, but at the same time, just like you did with Shania Shame.

00:25:37.637 --> 00:25:43.748
It's getting a little bit uncomfortable, but also creating some comfort around the discomfort.

00:25:44.478 --> 00:25:55.678
And then the other thing I was thinking about is If we're just trying to carve out how we want our life to be there's definitely times where I know you have to look back.

00:25:55.948 --> 00:26:04.337
And because if the scar had healed up perfectly, and there's no, no problem with all the things that happened in life.

00:26:04.337 --> 00:26:11.778
And I do believe our scars are what help us to become and make us these fabulous human beings that we are.

00:26:12.117 --> 00:26:30.928
But if it didn't heal well, or there was, are still some things that are left over, it's important to have someone such as yourself to be there to finish up that healing process or see what part of that you're not healed from so I don't know I just felt like I needed to say that

00:26:31.317 --> 00:26:32.367
No, I love that.

00:26:32.857 --> 00:26:33.228
Yeah.

00:26:33.268 --> 00:26:41.817
I mean, yes, I think that you're absolutely right where sometimes people Assume it's going to be much harder than it actually is.

00:26:42.127 --> 00:26:46.228
Like you said, where it's just like a little bit of mud and like flicking, no big deal.

00:26:46.478 --> 00:27:15.333
And then I also think that sometimes people realize when they do get like full in the mud up to their neck, that it becomes like a mud bath where you're like, Oh, Like, it's actually more comfortable to get into it than resist it, that it's actually serving me better, and I come out feeling better at the other end of it, so, it's, it is, it's totally true, or like that person who's like, I can't swim, and they fall into the water, and they're like, Stand up.

00:27:16.002 --> 00:27:16.903
Put your feet down.

00:27:17.532 --> 00:27:18.873
You're gonna be okay.

00:27:19.462 --> 00:27:35.353
Yeah., I always like to remind people that when you track your anxieties, when you track, these things that you think are going to be absolutely, you know, unbearable, or it's going to turn out poorly, or I can't do this.

00:27:36.307 --> 00:27:44.107
And then they, they look back and see, oh wait, what, 7 percent of my anxieties were actually true?

00:27:44.768 --> 00:27:51.127
I mean it's amazing what our brain does to us, and like you said earlier, it's, it's in an effort to.

00:27:51.893 --> 00:27:57.813
To protect us, but it's also because we've never allowed the experience to happen.

00:27:58.242 --> 00:28:28.458
And if you've never worked with a coach, or if you've never even dipped your toe into the pool of self examination, you know, you might be unable to go in the water because you don't even realize that you don't have to swim at first you can just, you know those pools where you go deeper and deeper when we were kids, we sat on a step, then we went a little deeper, and then we were able to go into the three foot section because we were tall enough where our heads were over it.

00:28:28.758 --> 00:28:36.028
And then you learn to go into the deep end, and I think that that should be the approach to everything in life.

00:28:36.647 --> 00:28:41.188
Go from fear to cautious, take, take a little bit, take a little bit more.

00:28:41.508 --> 00:28:47.397
And then you get curious and you want to know, Hey, what's at the bottom of the deep end of the pool.

00:28:47.627 --> 00:28:50.867
And I can still remember as a kid going down.

00:28:50.897 --> 00:28:57.198
Cause I always wondered what was in that drain, like what happened when you got near the drain.

00:28:57.548 --> 00:28:58.958
So that's what I did.

00:28:59.137 --> 00:29:01.278
I put on my mask as soon as I could.

00:29:01.448 --> 00:29:08.633
I got down to to the deepest part of the pool and, I saw that it just sucked up water.

00:29:08.962 --> 00:29:11.063
I should have known that, but I was little.

00:29:11.363 --> 00:29:23.373
So it's important to realize is that just moving through something cautiously and working with someone such as yourself, because the outcomes, can be just transformational.

00:29:25.153 --> 00:29:27.712
It's the building resilience portion, right?

00:29:28.192 --> 00:29:28.502
Yes.

00:29:28.502 --> 00:29:35.063
When we survive a little bit more, we survive a little bit more, and we're like, oh, okay.

00:29:35.063 --> 00:29:38.663
And so it becomes more and more comfortable to do change.

00:29:38.663 --> 00:29:43.387
And it's helpful when we have someone there with us to walk in beside us.

00:29:43.508 --> 00:29:47.288
Um, to be able to, to move forward in that way.

00:29:47.288 --> 00:29:53.018
And then we become a little bit more brave the next time, for sure, because we're like, Hey, did that.

00:29:54.057 --> 00:29:54.248
Yeah.

00:29:54.258 --> 00:30:02.218
After, after my divorce, I was talking to a friend of mine and his mom was divorced.

00:30:02.337 --> 00:30:09.387
Her husband, his dad left her for another woman, similar story to millions of us.

00:30:09.948 --> 00:30:10.307
And.

00:30:10.972 --> 00:30:12.282
She never moved on.

00:30:13.173 --> 00:30:21.292
Her fear of being able to get into another relationship stopped her from ever doing anything.

00:30:21.603 --> 00:30:29.803
And so she denied herself the potential to find a better relationship, to find a healthy relationship.

00:30:30.313 --> 00:31:02.948
And that's how I feel Like, when we let our fear of self examination, um, to, to dip that toe in the water is that we're denying ourselves the emotions, the feelings, the experiences that potentially are out there that will create the kind of life we want just out of fear of the unknown rather than trying to, Get a little bit more comfortable with it.

00:31:03.728 --> 00:31:04.137
Right?

00:31:04.178 --> 00:31:22.077
That that fear that's trying to protect us protects us from also the good things to if we let it and depending on what that woman's belief system is, like, you know, maybe the next lifetime, she was able to approach that.

00:31:22.097 --> 00:31:26.032
And then there's also gifts in, um, working in.

00:31:26.482 --> 00:31:29.863
with that resistance and fear around it too.

00:31:29.883 --> 00:31:44.303
So it's, it's a, that's kind of what I'm really into about Jungian, um, style is that like, whatever our journey is, we can work with any aspect of it to move, move us forward.

00:31:44.303 --> 00:31:45.482
There's no have tos.

00:31:45.843 --> 00:31:51.682
It is all about like, our opportunities to, to move forward.

00:31:51.692 --> 00:32:05.323
So it's like what kind of life Do you want to live like what right now, what is like the biggest life that you could choose for yourself that you would want to do for yourself?

00:32:05.323 --> 00:32:07.242
What is the meaning behind that?

00:32:07.502 --> 00:32:23.482
And then like, when you find that meaning, that meaning that drives you, that's not about like, I want, you know, a lot of money or a lot of cars, but like that, like higher purpose meaning is what can also like help.

00:32:24.093 --> 00:32:50.718
Spark that fire and move us forward during those times where it's really hard and that resistance and that fear comes up really hardcore for us and it is hard when our heart is broken that that can be a real game changer for for um for putting us on pause or really launching us forward either way it can it can go either way for that.

00:32:51.307 --> 00:32:57.907
And I would like to like maybe invite people to be like, take those and put them in your own toolbox.

00:32:58.478 --> 00:33:01.597
Like that becomes your own tools.

00:33:01.688 --> 00:33:02.788
So that, yeah, that

00:33:03.988 --> 00:33:04.928
anytime you want.

00:33:05.488 --> 00:33:13.008
Yeah, that was really kind of what I was trying to say, like, you know, you go, you go in, you say, I like this, I don't like this, and oh, wait, I had this before.

00:33:14.383 --> 00:33:23.393
No, you're, a thousand percent., So people know, Angie was a pre reader for my book, Yucky, Yummy, Savory, Sweet: Understanding the Flavors of Emotions.

00:33:23.673 --> 00:33:24.442
Yes, chef.

00:33:25.212 --> 00:33:25.512
Yes.

00:33:26.093 --> 00:33:26.712
Oui chef.

00:33:26.732 --> 00:33:27.053
Yes.

00:33:27.093 --> 00:33:27.323
Chef.

00:33:27.323 --> 00:33:27.833
Thank you.

00:33:28.323 --> 00:33:32.032
Um, if, unless you read the book, you won't know what that means.

00:33:32.353 --> 00:33:39.893
In my book, I talk about emotion recipes, which is basically what has to happen for you to feel a certain way.

00:33:40.323 --> 00:34:05.407
And I want to make this the habit for my podcast is to end it with asking the guests, what has to happen For you to feel love, what are the ingredients in the world around you and inside of yourself that need to be there for you to cook up love?

00:34:06.538 --> 00:34:06.958
Hmm.

00:34:08.697 --> 00:34:16.748
Ooh, I feel like that dish continuously gets new ingredients added and subtracted to it, but I guess As a good chef would.

00:34:17.728 --> 00:34:22.938
I think my current recipe includes trust.

00:34:24.452 --> 00:34:28.523
It includes playfulness.

00:34:29.853 --> 00:34:35.367
It includes genuine affection.

00:34:36.467 --> 00:35:00.463
It includes, uh, like delicious safety and, um, I would say humor, and it would also include, like, Deep amounts of bravery.

00:35:02.302 --> 00:35:09.092
So I'm just going to have you break that down because those are all terms, but what would that look like?

00:35:09.302 --> 00:35:14.063
So when we think about perceptive, so let's just take one or two of those.

00:35:14.072 --> 00:35:20.853
So for you to feel trust, cause you're, you're actually, Um, and, and this is good, Ang, because I'm,

00:35:21.032 --> 00:35:21.967
no, I love it.

00:35:21.967 --> 00:35:22.882
Let's do it.

00:35:22.882 --> 00:35:23.092
So

00:35:23.463 --> 00:35:27.262
this is going to kind of help me break this down for, for other people.

00:35:27.262 --> 00:35:28.672
And I think this is really good.

00:35:28.972 --> 00:35:37.023
So the, so what, when we talk about all these different things, you talk about bravery, you talk about trust.

00:35:37.452 --> 00:35:38.538
Those are things.

00:35:39.487 --> 00:35:42.367
Actions, but it's not the action.

00:35:42.628 --> 00:35:45.878
That's like saying I want sugar.

00:35:46.538 --> 00:35:51.007
Um, but what kind of sugar, what kind, how do you want something sweetened?

00:35:51.197 --> 00:35:52.737
So would it be table sugar?

00:35:52.927 --> 00:35:56.902
Would it be, you know, what, What is trust?

00:35:56.902 --> 00:36:00.282
Like, what are the actual actions of trust?

00:36:00.393 --> 00:36:03.163
Because that's where the perceptions come in.

00:36:03.492 --> 00:36:06.242
Is what is actually happening.

00:36:06.672 --> 00:36:10.213
That would, it would be someone who, let's just say, keeps their word.

00:36:10.402 --> 00:36:10.963
Like what?

00:36:11.503 --> 00:36:11.913
Yeah.

00:36:12.152 --> 00:36:13.503
Someone who keeps their word.

00:36:13.782 --> 00:36:15.643
Someone you can depend upon.

00:36:16.163 --> 00:36:30.322
Like someone that you can Um, that you, like, that I, yeah, yeah, so it's like, yeah, keeps word depends upon, I can depend upon them.

00:36:30.693 --> 00:36:44.532
And also that I, um, I know that unequivocally that, um, they will be there.

00:36:47.253 --> 00:36:47.592
Great.

00:36:47.902 --> 00:37:00.782
Um, and the reason I'm taking you through this is because this, yeah, this is the kind of thing that we don't realize, like, it's the details in the recipe.

00:37:00.793 --> 00:37:02.672
It's not just trust.

00:37:02.972 --> 00:37:06.253
It's, you know, what you need to do.

00:37:06.253 --> 00:37:06.293
Okay.

00:37:07.362 --> 00:37:12.233
Feel trust is completely different than for me.

00:37:12.583 --> 00:37:21.472
And so when we talk about trust, it's what that looks like, what is happening, what are the actions that take place?

00:37:21.762 --> 00:37:26.503
Because without the actions, trust is just kind of benign.

00:37:27.532 --> 00:37:28.992
Yeah, it's very ambiguous.

00:37:29.003 --> 00:37:53.233
So when we talk about emotion recipes, it's getting down to The actions to the words, to the smells, to the, to the, all of those things, because that's what make up our, our perceptions is literally the activities, not just the words.

00:37:53.813 --> 00:38:01.932
I think it's great because I feel like those are something that should be discussed in, like, every relationship, right?

00:38:02.063 --> 00:38:13.302
Like, I mean, those are even great, like, questions for a first date, like, how would you, how would you describe, like, what is trust to you?

00:38:13.503 --> 00:38:15.342
Like, what does that mean to you?

00:38:15.713 --> 00:38:17.563
And what does that look like to you?

00:38:17.563 --> 00:38:20.228
I think those are What has to

00:38:20.228 --> 00:38:27.398
happen for you to feel trust, like, yeah, so, so trust is not an answer.

00:38:28.168 --> 00:38:37.608
Um, trust is a word but the actions are what makes you feel trust in your love.

00:38:38.168 --> 00:38:38.557
Right.

00:38:40.168 --> 00:38:40.208
I

00:38:40.208 --> 00:38:42.027
think that's, I think that's brilliant.

00:38:42.427 --> 00:38:43.367
I think it's brilliant.

00:38:45.378 --> 00:38:49.128
Well, I want to thank you for joining me here today.

00:38:49.518 --> 00:38:55.077
And can you please share with everybody how they can get in touch with you?

00:38:55.077 --> 00:39:08.907
And it will also be in the show notes, so you don't have to write it down, but I will, I will post the URL and, and all of the social media links in the notes, but Ange, if you would talk about it.

00:39:09.867 --> 00:39:15.478
So you can reach me either on my website, www.

00:39:15.507 --> 00:39:16.038
yoursacredmagic.

00:39:16.128 --> 00:39:20.547
com, or you can find me also on Instagram at yoursacredmagic.

00:39:22.393 --> 00:39:22.952
Perfect.

00:39:23.152 --> 00:39:24.143
Thank you, Ange.

00:39:24.393 --> 00:39:25.693
I love you so much.

00:39:25.853 --> 00:39:26.532
I love you.

00:39:26.782 --> 00:39:30.663
I appreciate you being my numero uno guest.

00:39:31.132 --> 00:39:32.213
My pleasure.

00:39:32.213 --> 00:39:34.483
It is such an honor to be here, the first of many.

00:39:34.762 --> 00:39:41.382
You have so much wonderful, rich information for people, and I'm so glad that you're sharing it with the world.

00:39:41.382 --> 00:39:43.092
So thanks for the honor.

00:39:43.643 --> 00:39:46.202
Well, you know, the feeling is mutchal.

00:39:46.702 --> 00:39:51.983
And thank you everyone for listening, and we will talk to you next time.

00:39:52.873 --> 00:39:54.153
Yes, it can.

00:39:54.224 --> 00:39:58.134
And, um, you know what direction I went.

00:39:58.764 --> 00:39:58.934
I

00:39:58.934 --> 00:39:59.523
know.

00:39:59.873 --> 00:40:07.364
Well, it's the same girl that was like, I'm diving to the bottom of the pool and checking out this filter.

00:40:07.364 --> 00:40:08.733
So I'm not surprised by that.

00:40:10.563 --> 00:40:13.884
Yeah, I was, I, well, I'm stubborn, as you well know.

00:40:14.143 --> 00:40:19.554
So it's like, I am not gonna let anybody keep me back from whatever.

00:40:19.963 --> 00:40:21.623
So part of it was just.

00:40:25.284 --> 00:40:26.603
Stubborn or fortitude.

00:40:26.614 --> 00:40:28.373
Stubborn or fortitude.

00:40:28.483 --> 00:40:28.744
How about both?

00:40:29.653 --> 00:40:31.244
Do you really have to pick between the two?

00:40:31.813 --> 00:40:32.603
I don't think so.

00:40:32.733 --> 00:40:33.594
No, no.

00:40:33.934 --> 00:40:36.094
I think both things can be true at once.

00:40:36.324 --> 00:40:47.693
I want to wrap this up with pointing out the importance of finding It's an old cliche, Oh, you need to find yourself.

00:40:48.684 --> 00:40:54.083
There is no one on this earth like you.

00:40:54.143 --> 00:40:57.664
And when I say you, I'm talking to the person who's listening.

00:40:58.043 --> 00:41:01.923
I'm talking to my miss Ange to myself.

00:41:01.923 --> 00:41:04.983
Like there's only one of us, our DNA.

00:41:05.289 --> 00:41:12.018
And even when we are twins, identical, quote unquote, shared egg, we are still different.

00:41:12.418 --> 00:41:19.548
And that is what I think is spectacular about life is to find that out.

00:41:19.969 --> 00:41:29.878
And I don't personally want to be on my deathbed going back and saying, boy, I really wished I wouldn't have let, this happen.

00:41:29.983 --> 00:41:32.994
Divorce keep me back from enjoying life.

00:41:33.264 --> 00:41:48.974
I wish I wouldn't have let, this one bad experience keep me from doing this, finding love, finding, you know, the, the things that are important to me, or even being able to discover what's important.

00:41:49.503 --> 00:41:52.349

Unmasking the Shadow: Jungian Insights with Angelina Caporale

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