June 12, 2024

The Power of Memories: Past, Present & Future

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In this episode, Kim Korte delves into the concept of memory creation and management. She explains how our perceptions and the associated feelings shape our memories and emphasizes the importance of being proactive in how we label and manage them. Kim introduces the idea of becoming an "Emotion Chef," someone who actively tastes their emotional experiences, discards the ones that no longer serve them, and creates or modifies new emotional "recipes."

Show Notes
Transcript

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Join Kim Korte, a Sensory Perception and Emotion Management Strategist, as she delves into the powerful impact of memories on our lives. Through personal anecdotes and insights, she explains how sensory inputs, both external and internal, shape our recollections and emotional responses. Learn how emotions influence our thoughts, decisions, and behaviors, and discover strategies for managing perceptions to enhance your emotional intelligence. This episode emphasizes the importance of understanding and proactively creating meaningful memories for a better future. Tune in to become an 'Emotion Chef' and redesign the life you want.

Key points covered in this episode:

The powerful connection between sensory inputs and memory recall.
The impact of our emotional state on the formation and recall of memories.
How memories influence our thoughts, decisions, and behaviors.
The importance of managing perceptions to create more accurate and beneficial memories.
Real-life examples illustrating the influence of emotions on memory and perception.

00:00 Nostalgic Scents and Powerful Memories

00:42 Understanding the Anatomy of a Memory

02:57 The Role of Emotions in Memory Recall

04:02 Personal Anecdotes: Memory and Emotion

05:43 The Impact of Memories on Behavior

07:30 Perceptions and Emotional Management

13:08 Aligning with Your True Self

16:57 Becoming an Emotion Chef

17:32 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Resources:

Book: "Yucky Yummy Savory Sweet: Understanding the Flavors of Emotions" by Kim Korte: http://tinyurl.com/57rkpn3e
Connect with Kim: www.flavorsofemotions.com or www.kimkorte.com

Website: https://www.kimkorte.com/

Buy Kim's book: http://tinyurl.com/57rkpn3e

Transcript

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The other day I got a whiff of this woman's perfume and I hadn't smelled that scent in so long.

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It was called Youth Dew and it was what my mother used to wear and it just took me back in time to when my mom was alive and she was wearing this oddly scented perfume.

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It's very earthy and musty.

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It was never anything I liked, but it was mom.

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Memories are powerful, very, very powerful.

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They are what make us who we are.

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We are built upon our memories.

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When we lose them, we lose ourselves.

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We're going to talk today about the anatomy of a memory so that we can better understand how they impact us.

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Not just for trips down memory lane, but for other things in life, for very important things in life that can make a difference in what you do, say, or believe.

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This is Flavors of Emotions, expanding your emotional palette for a tastier life.

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My name is Kim Korte, I'm a Sensory Perception and Emotion Management Strategist, and I'm an author.

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I explore how to make I'm here to help you refine your emotional palate to differentiate the emotions that shape your world.

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So what is a memory made up of?

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Everything that was going on in the outside world, that's, that's pretty obvious.

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Like when I was talking about my mom and the Youth Dew, it was that smell that recalled that memory, It could be something that we consume that tastes like how mom used to make it, or we compare it to what mom made or grandma made.

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It's so many sensory inputs from our outside world, But we don't always think about is the sensory input from our inside world, the feelings that we have inside of our body that can make a difference and how we store that memory, how our memories are created.

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If we're in a bad mood.

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It's going to play a factor into how our memories are created.

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If we have a prior experience that puts us in a disposition, let's just say we're at a restaurant where we ate before and we, we go to order food.

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our experience of that restaurant might be predicated entirely on the memories of an old experience.

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So the combination of the outside and inside world is what makes up a memory.

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Memories don't really act like some of us think they do.

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It's not like we have a DVD in our neurons and we replay it when we recall a memory.

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It's not a video and it's not necessarily a single picture.

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Memory researchers have found that our emotional state can also impact our recall of the memory.

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It might be better than it was, might be worse than it was originally.

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That's the power of our emotions and the frailty, I'm going to say, of our memories.

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And when I say that, I'm not trying to discount anyone's memories.

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Even Researchers say we do lose pieces of our memories, but some of the fundamentals stay intact.

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There's been plenty of work done in this field to let us know that our memories aren't always a hundred percent correct, but it doesn't mean that they're a hundred percent wrong.

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Even with my sister, now that my dad is living close by, we will reminisce with him.

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And we'll each remember something a little bit different.

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Little aspects of that memory of that event are slightly changed, but there's Some things that are very common, like we all agree on certain things, like where we were, who was there, certain things that happened.

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Yeah, like the time I pushed my brother into a lake.

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Yes, I tried to murder my brother when I was pretty young.

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I can't remember how old I was, but he was annoying me and we were at Bass Lake and we were out on one of those floating pond, not pontoons, you know, like a You know, those things you can swim out to and lay on, big wood structure.

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And, uh, I pushed him off.

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He was annoying me.

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He almost drowned.

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So, things like that are seriously impactful.

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I also had another murderous moment when my sister and I were eating Oreo cookies, and I said hmm.

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I wonder what it would taste like with Raid on it So I sprayed Raid on the cookie gave it to my sister and said hey What does it taste like and then I all of a sudden said oh well, maybe I shouldn't have done that told my parents and they took her to the hospital and she had her stomach pumped and my sister remembers.

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Having her stomach pumped.

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I remember the Raid moment.

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Anyhow, I digress.

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Let's go back to Memories.

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Where memories kind of get us into trouble is how they're used for our thoughts, our decisions, our behaviors.

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When we have a memory, it's a combination of all the perceptive ingredients going on around us and inside of us.

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So when we stamp that memory in our brain, then we also remember the emotion at the time.

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So it's what's going on and how we felt.

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If you didn't know this, 95 to 97 percent of all of your emotions, thoughts, decisions, behaviors are subconsciously driven.

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Our brain can't consciously think about everything, so for energy efficiency, we have to recall past experiences to use it in the present for future action.

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And when I say future, that future could be milliseconds, but it's still not at the moment that the brain launches it.

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If our memories are faulty, if we didn't get enough information, let's just say we were mad.

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So we were highly focused on what was making us mad.

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And we may have missed other things that were going on that might have caused you to not be as angry.

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But you just focused on that one anger point.

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When you're in a similar situation, it could recall and launch that memory to dictate your feelings, your thoughts, and your behaviors.

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So the whole thing with managing your thoughts is.

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It's good, yes, when you're consciously trying to change things, but you need to manage your perceptions.

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Your perceptions are the foundation of all of your future behaviors, and how you feel about it is also important.

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Very important they go together Even if it's a a very Lackluster feeling if it's not very intense.

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We tend to think about those intense feelings But we can have what I call like a creme brulee feeling.

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It's you know, slightly sweet, but pretty bland It's not like a strong feeling but we usually have some sort of feeling over every situation Even if it's pretty neutral.

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That is important to remember that it's your perceptions at any given point in time that is making your future decisions.

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And if you are letting fear drive your focus, If you are letting anger or are these really intense emotions and I'm going to even throw passion and love in there It can make you blind to things or deaf to things that you need to hear or see I've given the example of this wine snob who, at a party, mistakened a very cheap wine for an expensive one.

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And it was because he had a passion for that expensive wine.

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And when he saw the bottle, he was like, I'm, I can't wait to drink this, poured the glass, thought it was that expensive brand only to find out a trick was played.

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And it was cheap wine.

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It was not even near the level of quality, but his brain predicted that because of his passion for that wine.

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It wasn't until people were laughing that he knew something was up and he took a more conscious sip I use that story to explain that when we feel these strong emotions that's sometimes my cue.

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Well, actually it is my cue to go.

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Okay.

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What am I missing?

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Is there something I'm missing?

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Is there something else I need to look at?

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When you think about all these people right now who are so passionate about a stand that they are taking for, as of today, it could be a political party because we're in the middle of a presidential race and it's Biden versus Trump, and there's people who are very passionate on either side and who can't do anything but see Their political party as correct even one thing being wrong in their political party It just can't happen.

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Like, I can't consume that, that this is wrong because everything in my party is right.

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How could it possibly be true?

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But because we're so emotionally attached to this political party or religion or a movement that we can't accept anything but an all or nothing.

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That's kind of dangerous.

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Don't you think is.

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Is that how life is?

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That every group, every belief system is a hundred percent right?

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Really?

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When we can step back from that intense emotion and look at it, That one aspect, or even the whole belief and say, wow, maybe there's a point to be had.

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Maybe there is something to this.

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Maybe I might need to make a little adjustment.

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It's easier said than done, but once you get used to it, it's a lot easier to do.

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And it takes connecting to that feeling inside of your body, those interoceptive signals.

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That's a system in our body.

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It's literally a sensory system called interoception that tells us how we feel inside of our bodies that we're connected.

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We can connect to, to say, Hmm, maybe I need to take a second look, because what's going on here now?

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We have mental health troubles out the door, and some of them are honestly self inflicted, because we can't, we can't look at anything other than what our group, or our point of view, or What we're so emotionally tied to, and it's causing anxiety and stress and sometimes unnecessarily.

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We can misperceive situations.

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We can misperceive what people say, what we see, it happens all the time.

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There's a huge crisis that took place between the United States and Russia, and it was called the Cuban Missile Crisis.

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There were misperceptions galore, but luckily for us.

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That was recognized, it was cleared up, and a nuclear war was averted.

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We may not have nuclear wars come very close to happening because of our misperceptions, but there's some other detrimental things that can happen to us and those around us.

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This is why when you think about your memories and when you think about how you feel because of your memories, I'm hoping that it makes you want to be a little bit more conscious, a little bit more proactive in the making of your new memories.

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They are your future.

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They are how you're going to act and behave moving forward and when you can examine the Your old memories.

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I, I call them recipes in my book because to me, it's a combination of Sensory signals from inside and the outside world that we use to cook up an emotion and then those emotions drive our Feelings or our thoughts decisions and behaviors the feelings already there.

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The point is that Um, if we can look at what we're cooking up today and say, Hmm, is that right?

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You know, what needs to happen for me to feel this emotion?

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And then when you discover that you look and say, well, that doesn't make sense.

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I've had that happen.

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I, there's an exercise that I perform with people and it's in my book, Yucky Yummy Savory Sweet: Understanding the Flavors of Emotions.

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It, it takes people through the emotions that they want to feel more of and the emotions that they want to feel less of.

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And in that process, they uncover their internal recipes.

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And it gives them a chance to see, like, am I cooking someone else's recipes?

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Because often we are.

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Societal, cultural.

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Religious, parental, and it might not align with us.

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And what's the most interesting thing is that when you uncover the recipes for what you don't want to experience more of, you see how it conflicts.

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It keeps you from feeling the emotions that you want to feel more.

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It's always an amazing discovery, and I've never had anybody flip out.

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I feel like the brain only gives you what you can handle.

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I'm not saying that this is any sort of a substitute for therapy but it is a self discovery tool.

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If you feel like it's too much for you to go on a self discovery tour Even a small one then you seek professional help, but I can't say enough about trying to understand yourself better and getting more aligned with who you really want to be and meant to be.

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Not cooking up the recipes that we were told we need to cook.

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The, the behaviors that, you know, someone else wants you to do, like your dad said, I want you to be a lawyer.

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And so you became a lawyer and it just doesn't feel right inside.

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I think we all have those aspects in our lives of things that we're doing just because we were told we were supposed to, and it doesn't feel good.

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So why not get more in alignment with who you really are?

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Find the joy.

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My point is that your memories, the interior of them, the perceptions that we hold on to, the feelings that are associated with it.

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This is why I am very active in, in my memory creation and how I label them, and I hope that.

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This has sparked you to want to further investigate your perceptions and to want to manage them more than you have typically.

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You can become what I call an Emotion Chef.

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An Emotion Chef is actively tasting their emotion recipes and getting rid of those that don't work anymore, creating new ones, modifying some existing ones.

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So that their emotional diet is covering all the flavors that they want to consume.

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And that they have a refined palate, too, in order to taste the differences in situations So that they know how to fix their recipes.

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I just want to end with saying our memories Can be our greatest joy and they can also be our greatest tool for designing the life that we want.

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Thank you for listening.

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I appreciate your time.

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If you would like to get my book or connect with me, please find the links in the show notes.

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Until next time, I wish you all the best.

The Power of Memories: Past, Present & Future

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